So there are many ways to relax in Japan. You can't walk a mile without running into a temple or shrine. Despite the feeling of crowds and tight space sometimes, the temples are very quiet and respectful places. Some go to worship, some go to quietly reflect…some of us go to look around an hope not to bother anyone. That's just what a Japanese local would like…"hey honey, it's a nice sunny day, let's go down to the temple and watch the big American look around trying to be quiet!"
Now one method of relaxation we found is the 'Stone Sauna'. You dress up in what is equivalent to surgical scrubs and go in and out of the sauna. The sauna is not the typical wooden benches surround a heat source. This sauna is a room full of dime sized smooth stones like a beach but not sand, larger stones. The stones supposedly have 'detoxification' qualities. The room is separated into little bed-like areas with little pillows. You lay down on the stones wiggle around to get the proper body (butt) implant into the stones and relax. The stones are heated from below so it is actually very comfortable. There is a small clock on the wall. You lie still for 10 minutes then move out of the sauna to a cooling room. Round 1 complete.
Part of the admission price for a two hours session, they provided towels and a water bottle. When we walked in the first time, they said "No more than 10 minutes". Of course Amie and I thought, "10 minutes…easy!" In a two hour session, at 10 minute intervals, you travel into the sauna 6 times. After the first trip, we were sitting quietly in the cooling room looking at some of the other "relaxers". We thought it was weird that they were breathing heavy and sweating like crazy. I said to Amie, "I didn't think it was that hot."
That is what Karma heard…Karma is a fickle bitch with a twisted sense of humor. Trip 2 and 3 were much like the first, a slow sweat had started and I found myself refilling my water bottle after each trip. The tail end of the third trip I thought I noticed the air much warmer near the ceiling on my way out, as I held the door open for Amie I thought is would be funny if someone had to crawl out because of the heat. (Did you hear that one too Karma…I hate her. Yes Karma is female!)
So trip 4 the clock started to malfunction. After laying on the ground for what was easily 10 minutes I looked up and supposedly only 4 minutes had past. I swear the second hand was moving back one second for every two it went forward. Finally we hit ten minutes. (Side note, for those of you who are wondering, yes we could have left before ten minutes, but that's not what obsessive, competitive people do…we suffer for no real gains other than to be able to say…Yes i did…idiots.) So with this relaxing, session done I tried to get to the exit quickly. Two things happened during this exit that I should have taken as a sign to go a little easier. One, chivalry went out the window…if there was a damn window in this heat box. Amie can get her own damn door. I am a foot taller than her, heat rises so I am getting hit more than she is. The second was my vision of the little Japanese sauna attendant, whose job it was to open the second glass door leading into the cooling room, began to get fuzzy around the edges.
Awwww, the cooling room. Sitting there was awesome! The only problem is I have to keep filling my water bottle. This is a 16 ounce water bottle, I've had to re-fill it 3 times in a ten minute break, how can that be? Oh and now the clock out here is making up for the malfunctioning clock in the hot room. Why are heading back in already? I think I'm starting to see things, swear to god I just saw the "You've entered the Twilight Zone" guy laughing at me. Oh and now somehow I can speak Japanese…as I walk back in the little Japanese sauna attendant with a smile on here face said "Bet you can't make it another 10 minutes fatty!" The hell I can't! 10 minutes, I can do this, I just need to distract myself. I know I'll take my pulse…I don't know why I thought that, remember just two seconds ago I could speak Japanese, now clearly I'm some kind of physician. So my resting heart rate, normally I am proud to say is around 55-60, has jumped to 125! What is going on? I am laying down for god's sake, RELAXING!
Round 5 complete, that's what this has turned into, a damn boxing match. "Mic, I don't think I can make it". "Listen Rock, you're gonna go back in there one last time." I told Amie I think I can go five minutes. She said something like, "if I had a dime every time I heard that!" On our way back in the little sauna attendant, I swear, is outright laughing at me. Yea, it'll be real funny when this big sweaty American comes crashing down on top of you on my way out! Karma!!!!
Okay, one last trip. I told myself, I can do this, just need to find a way to get through this relaxation! Spend extra time sorting out the stones for a perfect bed…dammit, that only killed 30 seconds. So I laid down and clamped my eyes shut. Even SERE school didn't prepare me for this relaxation I paid up front for. In an effort to distract myself, I starting singing Wild Rover, an old Rugby song in my head. At least I thought is was in my head, Amie swore she heard someone speaking in tongues, can't be sure it wasn't me. Anyways, two renditions of the song and we've killed 7 minutes, one more song and we're out. After the last song, ironically finishing on the last second, I stagger my way to the door. I think the little attendant saw the possible disaster heading her way, and nimbly moved out of the way, "was she still laughing?"
We definitely took our time in the cooling room, showering up and walking home. Nothing says relaxing better than a self-induced, out of body experience!
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